![]() ![]() “She’s now the Gold Stick in Waiting,” Balding said excitedly. Princess Anne, looking like Napoleon, leapt on to a horse. Charles stopped to thank the ministers from other faiths for being ignored throughout the service. Enough was enough.Įventually they reappeared and headed for the exit while the audience sang God save the King. Most of the rest of us were by now bored. Presumably Camilla needed a cigarette and a quick laugh to release the tension. After more interminable faffing, the king and queen nipped round the back of the altar. Meanwhile the king carried on suffering in this piece of dadaist performance theatre. ![]() She clearly thought the whole thing was ridiculous. She smiled and struggled not to burst out into giggles as she was asked to hold a sceptre. Maybe it would have made more sense in black and white.Īt least Camilla looked as if she was enjoying herself. It was like the royalty as scripted by Disney. A modern 21st-century democracy reliving a medieval fantasy. Even so, it was hard to escape the sense of the absurd. The one tender, personal moment of the entire ceremony. Prince William swore allegiance and kissed his father. The archbishop struggled to get the crown on, but eventually the king was crowned. Otherwise we might have had Jacob Rees-Mogg doing it. Still, Penny Mordaunt was the breakout star with the Sword of Sincerity. Then the Orb of Excellence, the Mace of Magnificence, the Spurs of the Surreal, the Gauntlet of Devotion, the Goblet of Fire. But Zadok the Priest always adds a touch of class. A ritual we were told that went back to Solomon. First the anointing with holy oil that took place behind a screen because it was too sacred to be broadcast. The only time he looked vaguely cheerful was when the gospel choir sang. Luckily, for once the pen with which he had to sign his name worked perfectly. He could take the trinkets but the obligations of kingship were too heavy a burden. Though he did look strangely detached throughout. The whole thing was being done for his benefit, after all. Perhaps he couldn’t be separated from his PlayStation. Prince Louis went missing for large chunks. Still, at least it was an hour shorter than the late queen’s in 1953. The two-hour service could have done with some editing down to 75 minutes. Justin Welby’s sermon was borderline unintelligible. This was in all but name a sacred ritual, honouring Charles as the one true king and the Church of England as the one true religion.Īnd in truth, it quickly all began to drag a little. Other faiths were restricted to either a one-line cameo or just a walk-on part. We’d been told that the king had wanted this to be a celebration of all faiths, but in reality this was a full-on Protestant extravaganza. Other countries may have a bit more self-worth. Brits like to think no other country does these occasions quite as well. Prince William, Kate and their children all looked as if they were extras from a remake of Cinderella. What on earth was he doing here? He gets everywhere you don’t want him and even the royals haven’t found a way of keeping him out. Once the king and Camilla reached the abbey, a new procession made its way to the altar. This was too much lese-majesty for the occasion. Nor did we get to hear Andrew being booed. Then the cameras also forgot to broadcast the procession going through Trafalgar Square, where republican protesters were gathered. Balding pointed out all the flags of the Commonwealth countries, forgetting that many of them wanted to have their own heads of state. Out in the Mall, Clare Balding was watching a horse walk sideways while the royal coach carrying King Charles and Camilla made its way to the Abbey. Huw could barely bring himself to mention either of them. But don’t dare marry a black woman and spill the beans in your autobiography. The message was clear: you can be accused of being a sexual predator. ![]() Andy was allowed a cape from the dressing-up box, Harry was in civvies. ![]() Just 49 days in which she wrecked the country and she’s guaranteed a spot on every guest list for life. There was no way he was going to make an effort even for this. Boris Johnson and Liz Truss bringing up the rear. The lord speaker processing behind what looked like a large Toblerone. He’s almost an honorary royal these days. President Macron wandering in, totally at home. The US president never attends these kinds of dos. Jill Biden and her granddaughter near the back. He didn’t know which was which but few do. As the cameras panned round the congregation, the BBC’s Huw Edwards desperately tried to pick out a few people he recognised. ![]()
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